Valleys

Depression has been a constant in my life since I was very young. I would not describe having depression as “suffering” as in “I suffer from depression.” I would rather say that, for me, without extraordinary emotional lows I would have no notion of the extraordinary highs of living. There is a balance over time. When in a low, it is good to be around people and to avoid making important decisions. When in a high, it is good to give people their space and to avoid making important decisions. One of the wonderful things about living as a missionary is that I have broken with almost every pattern I had established previously. The breaking of habits has taught me that it is not those habits which lead to depression. For the first time since I can remember, I don’t blame myself for how I feel. I have no guilt. It is really quite a lovely place to be.