Sonila is the name of a young woman who attended the bible school in Sauk a few years ago. Last Sunday Bashkim announced to the congregation in Fushekruje that she would be having a pre-wedding open house for friends of the family on Friday the 7th, today. I have become a member of the delegation from the church in Fushekruje, my attendance was assumed.
Sonila is a woman in her early twenties, I couldn’t say how old she is exactly. Her family is of the Egiptar minority in Albania. The Egiptar are like the Roma, except they trace their heritage back to the free people of Egypt. It would be an interesting study to research how this people group came to migrate from the middle east to eastern Europe, but it is not a study I have undertaken as yet. The Egiptar are treated by many Albanians of traditional bloodlines like African Americans in the States are treated in the South, like a sub-class, a non people-people group. The Egiptar make up a strong percentage of the number of Christian believers in Albania.
Sonila’s family was beautiful, as she was beautiful. She looked lovely in white and was very gracious as she received us into her family home. Although we had not met before, she greeted me warmly and with affection. There was the excitement of an impending Dasem in the air, but I couldn’t help but notice that the vibe was subdued as well. All weddings hold a bit of sadness, but this is especially true in here. In Albania a wedding is not the joining of two families, but the loss of a daughter to another person’s house. Men will typically remain in the cities and neighborhoods of their youth while inviting their wives to join them to live in the family home. The day after tomorrow may mark Sonila’s first day away from home and family; the first of thousands of days like it.
Of the people in attendance, I was most taken with Sonila’s grandmother. Grandmothers are typically some of the most lovely people you are ever like to meet as a rule, but in Albania there is an added level of preciousness to them. For the most part these are women who were kept at home after age 10 or 12 to learn how to care for a household. Married somewhere between the age of 14 and 19, these women went on to raise between 3 and 10 children, while caring for a house and small plot of farmland, which might include around half-a-dozen farm animals. They are only sitting down now because their bodies have worn out. Quiet, calm, dear, simple, courteous, meek and sincere; many of them have lost their husbands and one or more children. Once a son has died, Albanian women wear black for the rest of their lives.
It was good to be a part of a strong church presence at this event. I was honored to be a part of the festivities in honor of this young woman’s right of passage. Life is exciting, change is exciting, and brides are beautiful. Most likely it has always been thus.
albaniacalling 