Think of beginning the word awesome with a “d” sound; that is how you say wedding in Albanian. The day of this event began for the groom’s family with the beating of an animal-skin drum accompanied by a clarinet at 6AM. The groom exited the home of his father with the shattering of a drinking glass. Twenty feet away his younger brother fired a single shot from a shotgun into the air, announcing to the mountains the coming of a special day. A videographer was on hand to capture the opening moments of this all important morning. The groom danced with the women of his family while some sang a song, the only words I could make out being “slowly, slowly, take time to be careful.”
Here the story fades into assumption. The groom and his immediate family all left the property to go to another location. This left lesser family members and guests like myself to drink Turkish coffee together with small glasses of Raki, and the occasional glass of dhalle. A hot glass of sugar-spiked, freshly drawn cow’s milk makes a tasty breakfast. Soon the groom came back with the bride, both passengers in an SUV decorated by red and purple streamers and bows. The driver was the same brother who had wielded the shotgun earlier, the car horn was now his medium of exuberant expression. They wedding had been performed.
Soon all of us pilled into forgones for the trek over mountain roads into Peshkopia-proper for the reception. In a great banquet hall about 120 people had gathered. The bride and groom were the last to enter.
Looking around at the guests of the party, I recognized most of them from the night before. There was loud music, and plenty of dancing. Each guest was given a plate full of delicate foods; 22 oz. bottles of Tirana Pilsner were distributed widely. About 2 hours into the event, it dawned on me that every person there was from the groom’s side of the family. I asked Veesy why the bride’s side of the head-table had no occupants. He told me that they would arrive in about 15 minutes. 15 minutes later, ten representatives from the bride’s family filed through the front door past all of the principle members of the groom’s entourage. I was invited to be a part of the greeting party. Four women and eight men passed through to the to the head of the room. At this time a second course of food was distributed to all of the people.
At the conclusion of things, three important events happened. First, the bride’s family came out onto the dance floor. The bride joined them making this the first dance she had participated in that day. This was also the first time I saw the bride smile. After three songs, the bride’s family left amid exuberant applause. Second, the bride and groom danced in a circle, each waving their individual handkerchiefs. The groom used his to wipe his brow and soon, he handed it to his bride. The bride carefully handled the small square of fabric, folding it gently as she danced; smoothing out the wrinkles with care. The groom then took the handkerchief back from here and pierced it with a dinner fork, holding it up as he lit it on fire with a lighter. After flame had consumed it fully, he took possession of the bride’s more ornate, silver-tasseled towel. Third, there was a money dance. People came onto the dance floor to press bills into the hands where bride and groom were joined. As soon as the money had been taken in hand, it was allowed to drop to the ground, leaving a circle of paper around the dance floor.
A cake was soon brought out. As it was cut a few people gathered the money into bunches and threw it over the married couple from behind. The cake was three tiers tall, but not one person was served any of it. It was time to go. Seven hours later I was back in Sauk. For the trip back to the Fushekruje area, I sat next to Zaladin. With a bit of effort we were able to share about our lives and our families. I hope to see him again.
albaniacalling 